WARNING: This blog will leave you sick of the ‘W’ word.
If you haven’t heard of the ‘why’ theory before, let me explain…
Your ‘why’ is the reason something matters to you. Whenever you set a goal, there is always a reason ‘why.’ The question is, in the words of the Bee Gees, how deep is your ‘why?’
If the purpose behind your goal isn’t powerful enough, then there’s a good chance that it’s stopping you from making the change you want to see. Why? (not that word AGAIN!)
Our brains are designed to protect us. They do not like change as this triggers the fear response. We find excuses, we talk ourselves out of what we wanted to achieve and we stay stuck. We remain in the comfort zone. The ‘comfort zone’ is that safe place that the brain keeps us in, in order to protect us from danger. So how do we get out of it?
By connecting with your ‘why.’
If your reason for wanting the change that you long to see is strong enough that you’re willing to do anything to make it happen, then it’ll give you enough drive and energy to override the brain. I’ll give you an example. My brain did not want me engaging in any kind of public speaking. Just ask anyone who saw me shaking like a leaf, struggling to say my own name, and growing sweat patches under my arms. My whole body went into complete panic mode and ‘DANGER!’ sirens going off in my head. With such a strong response to this fear of public speaking, I didn’t know how I would ever be able to do it with ease.
When I discovered that it wasn’t just a fear, that I was struggling with a diagnosable illness called social anxiety, which was triggering public speaking phobia, I felt completely responsible to help others who might be going through the same. I needed to share my experience and story so others felt less alone. I found my purpose. I found my ‘why.’
This strong ‘why’ is the reason that I was able to work through my fear of public speaking, because it was so powerful that it gave me determination and courage. I must admit, this is a big purpose, and yours doesn’t have to match this! It could be that you desperately want to overcome your fear of public speaking so that you can actually enjoy your job again, or so that you stop avoiding presentations which is making you feel miserable. Whatever it is, connecting with your ‘why’ will make the goal meaningful enough that you will do whatever in your power you can to achieve it.
Whenever I find myself falling off track (which, by the way, is just part of the process – don’t give up!) it’s always because I’ve lost connection with my ‘why.’ When I lose this connection, I also lose energy, motivation, momentum, and self-belief. All of these things then allow fear to take over and to keep me stuck.
So if you are struggling to meet your goals, ask yourself:
- Is my ‘why’ big enough that I will do whatever it takes to make the change I want?
- Am I connecting with my ‘why?’
- What can I do to make sure that I continually remind myself WHY this goal is important to me?
And if you want help figuring out the answers to the above, that is exactly what I’m here to do.
Happy goal setting!